We at SerenataFlowers.com sell flowers and plants. We take pride in what we’ve accomplished.
Weather-wise, this September’s been a volatile month, hasn’t it? That’s why we decided to put together a long-form ‘27 Card Messages’ guide to lift your spirits. And these are free-form card messages, mind you, so expect them to be full of (attempted) wit, dark humor, and unorthodox lines.
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen – starting off with a couple of long ones.
how the years go by… I wish you a happy and belated birthday!
I remember you like it was yesterday, 25 years old, as strong and healthy as a bull. And now? Pushing on 40, you’re still relatively healthy but not as strong, you’ve withered somewhat, a gray hair here and there, a full two days instead of a morning to rid you of last night’s hangover, your body creaking and whistling and emitting all sorts of new, strange sounds. Did you notice that not even our minds are as nimble as they once were? I noticed I started forgetting things more and more. How about you? Nothing alarming, but the little things, you know, where I left my keys and such. Ah, old age… How quickly we are racing towards eternity, towards the drowning blackness that will consume us all! Ah, never mind me…
Happy birthday, and all the best!
do you know how much you mean to me? Do I ever tell you that? I certainly don’t say it often enough… It is not out of lack of love or respect, but sheer embarrassment. Things like this are difficult to utter out loud, they open us up, make us feel vulnerable and defenseless. But why would one even need defenses against a friend like you?
By way of this message, I want to apologize for not telling (or showing) you how much I love you. Because I do. And, once again, self-consciousness is getting the better of me, so I have to stop.
I love you…
And wish you the happiest of birthdays!
isn’t it a mystery how human beings get wiser as the years go by? That makes you a real prophet now, doesn’t it?
I’m only kidding, of course. You’re not that old.
Getting old is not as bad as you may think. For one, you will, in fact, become wiser. At a certain point in your life (past the age of 45), a kind of peace sets upon you. It engulfs all areas and aspects of your life. Did you ever see the old men and women who don’t seem to give a damn? Yeah, that.
Also, if you’ve played your cards right, you will certainly have more money than you did when you were 20. This is always great. Perhaps now you will be able to afford that log cabin up in the Catskills that you always wanted. Or that new, completely unnecessary MacBook Pro?
As the years go by, you stop conforming as much, thinking about what others think of you, worrying about petty and insignificant things and details of your early 20s, but slowly start enjoying life the way life was meant to be enjoyed…
Anyway, you’re at a great point in your life. And you know that.
Let’s now move on to anniversaries.
would you like to go out for a cup of coffee? Yes? How does April 21st, 2045 sound?
I know you feel like your life is over now, but that is decidedly not so. Granted, you may have a few problems sleeping for the next 3 years. And, you know, you won’t have any autonomy whatsoever for the next 18. Also, that little child will occupy all of your time from now on. You will gain weight, trust me – because there simply won’t be any time left for exercising. Have I mentioned the incessant, murderous crying?
Someone got a new job?
Take this new job in stride, and do not let it cause chaos within that beautiful oversensitive head of yours. Okay? But, if you have to stress over banalities and trivialities and the mundane and the sudden, do remember that we are here, and will listen to you and help you whenever we can.
We love you.
A friend or family member you love is sick?
I only hope that one day, in a time of need, I can muster an iota of courage you’re showing right now. Care to lend me some?
Keep at it. If you ever need me, I’m here, just don’t come to me for repairs or changing the light bulbs or anything like that… If you do, we might have to look for a new place for you to live.
You want to express how happy you are that someone got married?
Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart.
We are slowly bringing this overly satirical guide to a close… Feel free to use our card messages, or, better yet, think of something original (not all friends and family will appreciate sarcastic and crass humor on their I-just-gave-birth-to-my-firstborn cards). Use all the aforementioned occasions to grow as a person, and show your friends, family and loves ones you care for them more than they ever imagined. Tell them you love them, and tell them sincerely. If you’re no good at telling, show them.
But make sure you tell them, show them, let them know how important they are in your lives. It is too often that the love and emotions go unnoticed in relationships between parents/children, husbands/wives, etc. Real emotions are sometimes difficult to get across.
We hope we’ve offered you, after reading this humorous “guide,” an incentive to really show them how much you care.